The theory is that because you love your partner, you can feel supportive and happy that they are enjoying an outside lover. This concept seems counter-intuitive to most people, as we are socialized to feel hostile to our partner having any outside sexual interest. This creates such hypervigilance that we are ready to fight rather than problem-solve. If we can override fears, we can feel more trusting, flexible, and open to finding solutions. Recognize and counteract constricted thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.
Jealousy creates a constricted mental and emotional state, causing obsessive thoughts and exaggerated fears. It takes a strong effort to counteract these thoughts and feelings.
Confronting the distorted and rigid thoughts and critical feelings will help you see if they are accurate, and then taking steps to take care of yourself to move into a more expansive state. Pay attention to what your body is telling you. Notice the signs of constriction in your body, in order to be able to modify that state and create additional options.
When you are feeling jealous, your jaws may be clenched, the muscles in your neck and shoulders tighten up, and stomach pain or nausea are common. Any activity that encourages relaxation can help alleviate this physical state of tension.
Write these down and circle the appropriate answer as to whether these statements are likely to be true, false, or have some kernel of truth but not be completely true. Here are a few common examples:. True False Contains some small kernel of truth.
