Posted June 4, Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. In the mega-blockbuster novel Fifty Shades of Grey , the male protagonist, Christian Grey, discovers his desire to play the dominant in BDSM as a result of horrendous child abuse. People who are into BDSM have no higher rates of abuse victimization than the general population. Where do kinky desires come from? Recently researchers at UC Santa Cruz asked kink-identified individuals why they felt attracted to it.
Their study's findings help us understand why anyone is sexually into anything. The investigators recruited adults from the kink-oriented social network , fetlife.
Participants ranged from 18 to elderly, and lived in 21 countries, but the top six were all English-speaking: the U. Those who cited genetics commented:. Most of those who cited nurture could point to specific incidents or series of events that propelled them toward kink:. One-quarter of study participants said they had no idea why they were kinky. Many dismissed both nature and nurture:. Few went into detail. Most said they felt attracted to BDSM because of the clear agreements between doms and subs, with safe words giving subs control of the play.
Therapists are divided about the advisability of child abuse survivors getting involved in kinky play. Where does the rest of heterosexual lovemaking come from? What causes kissing? Erotic massage? Oral sex? Anal play? Or enjoyment of sex toys? Others point to nurture, to their life experiences. And some say they have no idea. All we can state with certainty is that everyone is sexually unique, and that our sexuality is as individual as our DNA.
Nature and nurture both contribute. However, beyond those influences, the origins of sexuality are obscure. Doi: Michael Castleman, M. He has written about sexuality for 36 years. Michael Castleman M. All About Sex. Key points Most say it's nature. They were born to enjoy BDSM or fetishes. Some say It's nurtureβhow they were raised, or their life experiences. This raises a question: Where do sexual desires come from in general? Sex Essential Reads. Should You Take a Sex Break? How to Move Beyond "The Ick".
