I respect your privacy and only subscribe you to what you've specifically requested. Unsubscribe at any time. I believed we were in a relationship. He then proceeded to remind me that I was gorgeous, fun, intelligent, great to spend time with and yada yada yada. I was his Fallback Girl and I gave him a soft landing out of his old life and helped him avoid whatever feelings he had about his previous relationship.
The barriers to entry for sex have been well and truly broken down. No, these ambiguous, confusing, often painful situations arise because the driver of the casual relationship there is always one that wants it more than the other is in for whatever they can get with minimal emotional contribution. Doing all this other stuff makes their actions and intentions palatable. Just shagging around might say something else about them. In a time of instant access, instant communication, instant results, instant array of people to choose from on dating sites, instant sex, and a disposition to avoid feeling our feelings, society seems to have managed down our expectations of relationships and we have managed down our expectations of relationships because it suits where we are at emotionally.
We have however, become too casual about ourselves and this is how we open ourselves up to having our boundaries busted and keep ourselves very far from the reality of a healthy, loving relationship.
One of your best Nat. Love it! This is precisely what I had going on, although he said he wanted different. I was happy with casual but he asked me for the commitment, then blew cold for the 2nd time , and finally β ditched me. My conclusion today?
That totally nailed it. It was hard to grasp. Especially with all the future faking going on. Actions and words not even on the same world let alone same page. I could not wrap my mind around that then. Not even close. I see it clearly now. Truly several painful lessons learned. But at the end of the day β the most important thing is β I am not that woman anymore. I really liked this post. Expecting healthy, loving, respectful relationships from people who are persistantly not treating you this way and then accepting their bad behaviour and not treating yourself well is a recipie for all sorts of sadness.
