And in just 10 long, stupefying years of swiping, you, too, can find the love of your life! For legal reasons, this is [mostly] satire, but still—take notes!
First, start out wildly optimistic—hopeful and determined to leave your fate in the hands of the universe, a wonky algorithm, extraordinary timing, sheer luck, quixotic perseverance, and a stalwart sense of humor.
They say time plus tragedy equals comedy, but in the modern dating world, time plus tragedy plus comedy equals a potential partner! Your instinct will be to sign up for one or two dating apps, but instead, download as many as possible. Doing so will increase your odds of finding love. But, beware…it will also increase your odds of having odd…encounters, which is the price we must pay when it comes to modern dating!
Unless you have a long lost twin somewhere. Separate yourself from the masses by putting your fantastic personality on display or, more effectively, by being naturally hot. This could happen anywhere between one hour and years after matching. Going on a first date is a breeze! You just have to spend hours getting ready, then spend more hours being amazing, delightful, funny, sexy and charming, then wait to see if it worked. Hot tip: Keep the martinis, mimosas, and margaritas to a minimum when getting to know someone.
I never did, but you should. Some dull observers will deem this tragic, but again—all part of the fun! The proof is in the swiping. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below.
