Posted March 15, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Many of my patients have agonized over this kind of conflict. How do I make the right decision? I ask them to imagine that their search for the right long-term partner can feel like traveling through an archipelago of islands, sampling the attractions and limitations of each. There is always the wonder of new experiences, the exploration of all that is offered, and the decision to nest there or to continue searching. The relationship-island metaphor is an easy way to describe the dilemma of many partnership-seekers today.
They also can see that any island they settle upon could eventually not feel like the right choice later on, and they fear that happening. It was easier in the not-so-distant past, where many people were born, grew up, and forever remained on just one metaphorical relationship island. They were not often exposed to the possibility of other choices and were prepared to be content with what was readily available.
Many times those options were made for them well in advance. Today, with the twin developments of migration away from family and the explosion of technology, most single people now have multiple options for dating adventures. The sheer amount of media dating sites and the opportunities they offer can add to the conundrum.
The uncertainty of unknown qualities and backgrounds of potential relationship partners can actually make those metaphorical islands more intriguing, but also more potentially dangerous. The combination of all of these variables keeps relationship seekers forever wondering when to stay in their current partnership or when to let go and move on.
Though there may be as many different answers as there are relationships, there are some guidelines that can help with those decisions. The answer to the first part is yes.
